How to get laid in Africa, Chapter 4: How to get laid in Malawi

Here’s a couple ways to tell that a Malawian is hitting on you:

1. Finger scratch handshake. As in most African culture, people greet each other with a handshake. Malawians use this opportunity to cut right to the chase. If you feel your hand being scratched by the other person’s pointer finger during the handshake, that’s a sure sign that he/she is interested in more than your friendship. (Note: In Kenya, the handshake finger scratch is done by prostitutes. So watch out for Kenyan prostitutes in Malawi.)

2. Celine Dion. If you are invited back to a member of the opposite sex’s house and he/she puts on Celine Dion music videos for you, he/she is most definitely showing off his/her fantastic music taste. And also probably trying to seduce you. Celine’s voice has that effect on most people.

3. Finger scratch handshake AND Celine Dion. Hold on to your hat, Cowboy, because you were just hit by a double whammy.

Previous chapters:
Chapter 1: How to get laid in Ethiopia
Chapter 2: How to get laid in Kenya
Chapter 3: How to get laid in Maasailand