How to get laid in Africa, Chapter 3: How to get laid in Maasailand

Picture yourself as a young, Maasai girl.

Now that you’ve done that, follow these steps to fulfilling all of your sexual needs.

1. Attend the warrior dances when you are young (even starting from age 6) and start scouting out which warriors you fancy. Spend time with them, talk to them, get to know them.

2. Once you’re ready (which can be between the ages of 8 and 12 in the Maasai culture), ask your mother to throw a party for you and prepare sour milk.

3. At the party, present the milk to warrior you like best. This warrior becomes your lover, although the Kimaasai word for him best translates to “friend.”

4. You will usually pick three “friends,” although the one who drank milk is notably your favorite.

5. As part of your family and tribal duty, you will marry the man your father picks for you. Despite this, it is accepted yet unspoken that all Maasai have “friends,” only none of the husbands must find out. Most Maasai girls keep the same three “friends” for their entire life. These are the men they have chosen for themselves. As one Maasai woman put it, “The children from my husband are beautiful, but the children from my friends are more beautiful.”

Previous chapters:
Chapter 1: How to get laid in Ethiopia
Chapter 2: How to get laid in Kenya